10/22 Upcoming Multi-Agent Pitch/Query Contests: #bakersdozen #agenttreat #pitchmas

I'm trying to clean up my upcoming contest list. One thing I've noticed, there definitely seems to be some burnout right now. Mother.  Write. (Repeat.) cancelled her monthly "Agent Inbox" (where people have the opportunity to be chosen submit a query to be read by an agent who then blogs instant feedback on the query on the blog).

First off, an apology: Due to unforeseen circumstances, I’m cancelling this month’s round of “An Agent’s Inbox.” And because of the general contest weariness I’ve noticed around the blogosphere/Twitterverse of late, I’m holding off on scheduling another until after New Year’s. I’m so sorry to anyone who was counting on entering a round this year!

Plus, there's this piece from Natalie M. Lakosil, on an agent's perspective on the current frenzy of pitch and query opportunities and some agents feeling like they've seen a lot of the same things in multiple contests. I actually wasn't going to enter a contest because there were only two agents and one had already seen my entry multiple times. In the end I decided to enter because I had revised the story and there was that other agent.  But the piece made a point I hadn't considered: keep track of which agents are participating in the contests so you'll know who's seen your work. I hadn't been doing that, but I will be now.

However, if you're just jumping in and haven't done a query contest before, Sticking To The Story has a wonderful post on what to expect and how to get ready. Even if you've done them before there's LOTS of helpful information there.

Short list right now. Here are the multi-agented contests: 

The ONLY multi-agent contest which has an entry this week (October 24), is Trick or Treat with Agents, so I'm going to put up the whole beautiful flyer they made up (it's hosted by the wonderful Brenda Drake, Kimberly Chase and Deanna Romito.) You will need to go the the blogs for information on agents wish lists and more particulars! (plus Brenda has a teaser up for her next big contest, Pitch Wars, which opens 12/10).

The following week, on October 30 and November 1, Miss Snark's First Vicitim (MSFV for short) will have the first entry windows for the ADULT authors who want to try to get in to Baker's Dozen. (This week she's having the secret agent contest, information in the single agent/publishing house section below). Here are the windows for Bakers Dozen entries (be sure to go to the site for all the details!)

  ADULT ROUND 1: Tuesday, October 30 (100 entries) ADULT ROUND 2: Thursday, November 1 (100 entries) YA/MG ROUND 1: Tuesday, November 6 (150 entries) YA/MG ROUND 2: Thursday, November 8 (150 entries)

AFTER NaNoWriMo, December 4-6, Pitchmas, A Holiday Pitchfest will be happening on Jessa Russo and FeakySnucker's blogs:

This will be a three-day event (you will not have to participate in all three days if you don't want to) where your peers will first help you hone your Twitter/Blog pitches and then you will have the chance to pitch your manuscript to your dream editor or literary agent!!! *All manuscripts must be completed and polished.

I'm keeping an eye on  Cupid's Literary Connection, I'm guessing they'll have a contest announcement before the end of the month.


For this next week there's only one contest (that I am aware of) which has ONE agent/agency or publisher stopping by (at least that I know about). Miss Snark's First Victim will host Secret Agent (who is looking for MG and YA). The entry window for the lottery is on 10/22, so be sure to hop over to her blog to find out the details.

There are many blogs which host pitch contests for single agents, I don't have a complete list by any means. One of the best ways to find contests is on Twitter, by following authors you see on the contests, and the hosts and agents as well, you'll see information on new contests as the information hits the twitterverse. 

Plus, up at the top of the blog, you'll see a link to a paper.li news article feed which pulls contest, agent news and publishing opportunities which I run across into one place. Easy to check and subscribe. There's general publishing news too, but mostly about pitch contests and submission opportunities. Wishing every who enters the best of luck!

10/14 Upcoming Multi-Agent Pitch/Query Contests: #bakersdozen #agenttreat #pitchmas

Gearing up to Get an Agent is over, thanks to Deana Barnhart for all her hard work. Bummer that not all the small press editors made it over, but cool that those who did went to the 'source' blogs and made requests.

As for what's coming down the pike, I've only copied little snips of information from each blog. Be sure to click through for full details!

Before you submit, if you've been doing a lot of contests you might want to read this piece from Natalie M. Lakosil, on an agent's perspective on the current frenzy of pitch and query opportunities. 

PITCH EVENTS HAPPENING MID-OCTOBER AND BEYOND

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I've divided these into two categories. The first is events that have multiple agents/editors looking at entries, and at the bottom I'll list some of the events which have single agents/publishers looking at entries. For this last category I can't possibly list them all so I will be making judgement calls on which ones to list.
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THIS WEEK Miss Snark's First Victim will be having the third 'pre' contest chance to get your logline polished before her very popular Baker's Dozen Contest . This is one of the few opportunities which is running through November. Be aware there is a fee for everyone in the submission rounds. Information below:

We will have 3 critique rounds for those of you who would like feedback on your loglines prior to submitting. These rounds will be run as lotteries. Times TBA.
ROUND 1: Tuesday, September 25 (submissions on Monday, September 24)ROUND 2: Tuesday, October 9 (submissions on Monday, October 8)ROUND 3: Tuesday, October 16 (submissions on Monday, October 15)

SUBMISSION DATES FOR THE AUCTION  

ADULT ROUND 1: Tuesday, October 30 (100 entries) 

ADULT ROUND 2: Thursday, November 1 (100 entries) 

YA/MG ROUND 1: Tuesday, November 6 (150 entries) 

YA/MG ROUND 2: Thursday, November 8 (150 entries) 

WINNER NOTIFICATION  25 adult category winners notified via email: Monday, November 12 

35 YA/MG category winners notified via email: Monday, November 19 

60 WINNING ENTRIES POSTED: Friday, November 30 AUCTION GOES LIVE FOR AGENTS: Tuesday, December 4 (for 24 hours)

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

• There will be a $10 entry fee for this contest. Yes, that is $2 more than last year.  Blame it on Paypal fees.  (And no, I won't be raising the fee every year just for the fun of it.  I feel like $10 is a fair entrance fee.)  To avoid confusion:  Yes, every entry must pay the fee.  This is the ONLY EVENT I charge for, simply because of the amount of work it takes to pull it off.
• A maximum of 500 entries (200 adult, 300 YA/MG) will be accepted. Of these, 60 winners will be chosen (25 adult, 35 YA/MG). ++ (more information on site)

Brenda Drake is hosting TWO Pitch events in October. The first of which you can sign up for NOW. Be ready to put yourself out there! #PITCHLIVE is all about 'live', or in this case video, pitches. YOU MUST SIGN UP AND HAVE  YOUR PITCH 'LIVE' ON YOUR WEBSITE BY 8am MONDAY 10/15 TO ENTER THIS!

I'm so excited to announce PITCH LIVE! What is it, you ask? It's a video of your best elevator pitch to an agent. I wanted to give you guys enough time to produce a video of an elevator pitch for your finished novels, so I'm posting this now. We already have a couple agents signed up to view the top 30 videos (if we get that many), but there will be more agents. I'll announce the agents in a post soon. The contest is for Adult, New Adult, Young Adult, and Middle Grade fiction. The elevator pitch should be creative, as if you ran into an agent at a conference.

And, coming up soon she'll have a special pre-halloween treat:

Announcing...Trick or Treat with Agents Contest

  

I'm thrilled to announce a very exciting and delicious contest that I was invited to co-host

with the extremely talented Kimberly Chase and Deanna Romito. Submissions will open October 24th at 11 AM EDT with the

first 150 entries making it in (all rules must be followed correctly to advance).

AFTER NaNoWriMo, December 4-6, Pitchmas, A Holiday Pitchfest will be happening on Jessa Russo and FeakySnucker's blogs:

This will be a three-day event (you will not have to participate in all three days if you don't want to) where your peers will first help you hone your Twitter/Blog pitches and then you will have the chance to pitch your manuscript to your dream editor or literary agent!!! *All manuscripts must be completed and polished..  

I'm keeping an eye on  Cupid's Literary Connection, I'm guessing they'll have a contest announcement before the end of the month. For any of the blogs above I'd strongly suggest following them and/or subscribe to their feeds and you can be 'in the know' for when the next one comes up. 

Now for a couple of contests which have ONE agent/agency or publisher stopping by:

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GOING ON RIGHT NOW! (no idea how long it'll be open) Pitch DIRECTLY to Deb Werksman at the Casablanca Authors Blog. You have to go to the site for formatting information, etc. (Not familiar with Sourcebooks Casablanca? Look here for information) A tease to tempt you:

It’s one of those months when I don’t want to read my own writing—I want to read YOURS! Voila—time for a pitch session!

These are the IRON-CLAD rules!

1)      ONLY single-title romance 85,000 to 100,000 words or commercial women’s fiction

2)      Erotic romance, paranormal, historical, romantic suspense, contemporary romance

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You have until Tuesday, October 16 to enter This Writers World's Spooktacular Pitch Event where the contestants in the final round will be bid on by two agents from the Corsiviero Literary Agency:

The Spooktacular Pitch Extravaganza will open for submissions on October 13 at 8am EDT and stay open until October 16 at 12am EDT. On October 17 I will pull 50 names and have you email me your pitches to a special contest email then. So make sure you check back on October 17! .... This contest is open to Adult, Young Adult, New Adult and Middle Grade fiction so bring it on!

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YAtopia and Down Under Wonderings are hosts for Pitchon. The OPPORTUNITY TO ENTER IS MONDAY, OCTOBER 15:

Commissioning and Managing Editor of Hardie Grant Egmont, Marisa Pintado, will be poised and ready to take your pitches both here on YAtopia and on Down Under Wonderings on October 15th. Marisa is looking for YA in any genre and is accepting submissions from any where in the world. It's your chance to skip the slush pile and put your pitch right under the nose of a fantastic editor. There's even better news - there is no limit on how many requests Marisa will make from the contest.
Window submission times for October 15 

Submission Window 1   

Down Under Wonderings: 

• New York: 12 am 
• London: 5am  
• Brisbane: 2pm 
• Sydney: 3pm 

Submission Window 2 

YAtopia October 15: 

• New York: 8 am 
• London: 1pm  
• Brisbane: 10pm 
• Sydney: 11pm 

Remember - there will only be 100 entries per blog. If you want to enter your own pitch to the workshops then this post will tell you all about how to submit your pitch. It's a good idea to do this if you're planning to enter the competition.

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Up in my header there's a link to a paper.li news article feed which pulls contest, agent news and publishing opportunities which I run across into one place. Easy to check and subscribe. There's general publishing news too, but mostly about pitch contests and submission opportunities.

Entering any of these can help you get one step closer to becoming published.

Wishing everyone luck! (me too!)

 If you've never done a query contest Sticking To The Story has a wonderful post on what to expect and how to get ready. Even if you've done them before there's LOTS of helpful information there.

 p.s. There are many blogs which host pitch contests for single agents. For instance We Do Write has a monthly one (from their site: Our next Three-Two-One Pitch contest will be held November 15 + 16. Be sure to follow the blog and stay tuned for details!).

10/7 Upcoming Multi-Agent Pitch/Query Contests: #bakersdozen #pitchlive #agenttreat #HLandS

Here's what I am aware of for the second week of October. Remember, if you know of more just comment here or tweet me at EllieWrites2 and I'll add. I've only copied little snips of information from each blog. Be sure to click through for full details! A lot of this looks familiar, but there is at least one new one out there!
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PITCH EVENTS HAPPENING IN THE FIRST HALF OF OCTOBER
I've divided these into two categories. The first is events that have multiple agents/editors looking at entries, and at the bottom I'll list some of the events which have single agents/publishers looking at entries. For this last category I can't possibly list them all so I will be making judgement calls on which ones to list.
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THIS WEEK Miss Snark's First Victim will be having the second 'pre' contest chance to get your logline polished before her very popular Baker's Dozen Contest:

It's here!  Well, almost.  Welcome, everyone, to the season of the third annual BAKER'S DOZEN AGENT AUCTION! For the newcomers:  The Baker's Dozen Agent Auction is MSFV's biggest event of the year.  60 250-word entries, hand-picked by Jodi Meadows and Authoress, will be placed on the auction block for agents to bid on (with requests for pages, up to a full manuscript request).  It bears the name "Baker's Dozen" because the original auction in 2010 included 13 agents--a baker's dozen.  The actual auction is in December, but the fun starts NOW! We will have 3 critique rounds for those of you who would like feedback on your loglines prior to submitting. These rounds will be run as lotteries. Times TBA.
ROUND 1: Tuesday, September 25 (submissions on Monday, September 24)ROUND 2: Tuesday, October 9 (submissions on Monday, October 8) ROUND 3: Tuesday, October 16 (submissions on Monday, October 15)  

Brenda Drake is hosting TWO Pitch events in October. The first of which you can sign up for NOW. Be ready to put yourself out there! #PITCHLIVE is all about 'live', or in this case video, pitches.

I'm so excited to announce PITCH LIVE! What is it, you ask? It's a video of your best elevator pitch to an agent. I wanted to give you guys enough time to produce a video of an elevator pitch for your finished novels, so I'm posting this now. We already have a couple agents signed up to view the top 30 videos (if we get that many), but there will be more agents. I'll announce the agents in a post soon. The contest is for Adult, New Adult, Young Adult, and Middle Grade fiction. The elevator pitch should be creative, as if you ran into an agent at a conference.

And, coming up soon she'll have a special pre-halloween treat:

Announcing...Trick or Treat with Agents Contest

  

I'm thrilled to announce a very exciting and delicious contest that I was invited to co-host

with the extremely talented Kimberly Chase and Deanna Romito. Submissions will open October 24th at 11 AM EDT with the

first 150 entries making it in (all rules must be followed correctly to advance).

.

Details here (Kat Ellis' blog) For Hook, Line & Sinker which will open on October 13. PLUS if you go to the site there's information on how you can enter to skip for a chance to skip through round one and go straight to the second round.

That's right kids, on October 13th the entry window opens at 11AM EDT! Take your entries to the appropriate blog based on category. Dee is hosting Middle Grade at www.writeforapples.com, Summer will be hosting the party for Adult at www.Fizzygrrl.com and I'll be hosting Young Adult right here:http://katelliswrites.blogspot.com! There'll be details on what your entry should include COMING SOON. And here is where it gets real, yo. We have agents coming to play. Oh yeah, that's right. Real, live, top drawer agents will be coming by to make requests!

Now, we can't tell you who just yet, but we will say that you can't count them all on one hand...

 

I'm keeping an eye on  Cupid's Literary Connection, I'm guessing they'll have a contest announcement before the end of the month. For any of the blogs above I'd strongly suggest following them and/or subscribe to their feeds and you can be 'in the know' for when the next one comes up. 

Now for a couple of contests which have ONE agent/agency or publisher stopping by:

.

GOING ON RIGHT NOW! (no idea how long it'll be open) Pitch DIRECTLY to Deb Werksman at the Casablanca Authors Blog. You have to go to the site for formatting information, etc. (Not familiar with Sourcebooks Casablanca? Look here for information) A tease to tempt you:

It’s one of those months when I don’t want to read my own writing—I want to read YOURS! Voila—time for a pitch session!

These are the IRON-CLAD rules!

1)      ONLY single-title romance 85,000 to 100,000 words or commercial women’s fiction

2)      Erotic romance, paranormal, historical, romantic suspense, contemporary romance

.

This Writers World will be hosting a Spooktacular Pitch Event with two agents from the Corsiviero Literary Agency:

The Spooktacular Pitch Extravaganza will open for submissions on October 13 at 8am EDT and stay open until October 16 at 12am EDT. On October 17 I will pull 50 names and have you email me your pitches to a special contest email then. So make sure you check back on October 17! .... This contest is open to Adult, Young Adult, New Adult and Middle Grade fiction so bring it on!

.

YAtopia and Down Under Wonderings are hosts for Pitchon. Right now there is a pre-contest blog hop with contestants getting their pitches polished before the main event:

Commissioning and Managing Editor of Hardie Grant Egmont, Marisa Pintado, will be poised and ready to take your pitches both here on YAtopia and on Down Under Wonderings on October 15th. Marisa is looking for YA in any genre and is accepting submissions from any where in the world. It's your chance to skip the slush pile and put your pitch right under the nose of a fantastic editor. There's even better news - there is no limit on how many requests Marisa will make from the contest.

Up at the top I've put a tab for "Submit that Story Already!" a paper.li article feed that pulls the contest, agent news and publishing opportunities which I run across into one place. Easy to check and subscribe. There's general publishing news too, but mostly about pitch contests and submission opportunities. 

Entering any of these contests can help you get one step closer to becoming published. Many of them offer excellent feedback opportunities, something you do NOT get through regular querying.

Wishing everyone luck! (me too!)

 If you've never done a query contest Sticking To The Story has a wonderful post on what to expect and how to get ready. Even if you've done them before there's LOTS of helpful information there.

 ***Note: This post is duplicated on my other blog as well. I will be transferring content from there slowly.

Never the Hero (PitchOn Pre-Event Pitch Workshop)

As part of the build-up to PitchOn people were offered the chance to send in their 50-70 word pitches to get feedback PRIOR to entering them in the contest. YOU CAN STILL ENTER TO HAVE YOUR PITCH WORKSHOPPED. Here's the post with the deets.

Remember this is a blog hop - be sure to go visit the other host blogs and comment/help other entrants hone their pitches. AND for each critique you leave in the comments of the blogs, you get an entry into the drawing to win one of eight 10-page critiques from one of the following: Sharon Johnston, Larissa Hardesty, Stephanie Diaz, Catherine Scully, Jodie Andrefski, Paula Sangare, Talynn and Kaitlin Adams. Please use the exact same name for all of your critiques. Also, Sarah Nicolas will be giving away three query critiques! The opportunity ends 10/14/2012.


UPDATED PITCH:
Nineteen-year-old Krystin has always been told she’d be the hero who would team up with her true love to prevent a war that would make armageddon look like child’s play. But Krystin doesn’t believe it, and her “true love” almost died last year by her hands. It was an accident and now Krystin must reunite with him despite everything, or risk starting the very war she was supposed to prevent.


First revision:

Nineteen-year-old Krystin learned lessons about being a hero the hard way: be moral, don’t kill, and most of all, don’t let your friends get caught in the crosshairs. Krystin failed at all three. Now she must repair her relationship with her old flame, Shawn, to fulfill their prophecy for Good and save an ancient city from destruction, or risk starting a war that will make armageddon look like child’s play.



Original pitch for Never the Hero:

Title: Never the Hero
Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy
Word-count: 61,000
Pitch: A year after she almost killed him and the rest of their demon-hunting team, nineteen year old Krystin discovers the prophecy she and her ex-boyfriend Shawn are a part of is coming true. They are left with a single choice: reunite and fight to save an ancient city from an evil darker than they were trained to handle, or walk away laughing, possibly starting the Final War for all sides.

Okay here's my line by line take:

A year after she almost killed him and the rest of their demon-hunting team, nineteen year old Krystin discovers the prophecy she and her ex-boyfriend Shawn are a part of is coming true.

One: this is a really long sentence with a LOT of information in it. Two: you shouldn't use pronouns like 'she' and 'he' until you introduce the characters. So *just* changing the pronouns, it now reads:

A year after nineteen-year-old Krystin almost killed her ex-boyfriend and the rest of their demon-hunting team, she discovers the prophecy they are a part of is coming true.

That's a little tighter. Think about tightening this further by making the two parts into distinct sentences I pulled something from later in the pitch to show a sample of  'how':

A year ago nineteen-year-old Krystin almost got her ex-boyfriend and the rest of their demon hunting team killed. Now she discovers (HOW?) an evil darker than even the demons they were trained to handle making its insidious way into an ancient city. A sign the prophecy joining them is... 

Not a big fan of coming true. Maybe just true?

Okay let's look at the next line:

They are left with a single choice: reunite and fight to save an ancient city from an evil darker than they were trained to handle, or walk away laughing, possibly starting the Final War for all sides.

First when you have a 'choice' then it can't be a single choice, it could be a set of choices or two options, but not a single choice because if it's single it's not a choice. Then... they'd walk away laughing that the entire world was going to fall into the chaos of war?? That doesn't make them at all sympathetic. It might be the only chance they have of saving their lives, but if that's the case you need to say *that*, IMO. Also, just me probably, not a big fan of for all sides, since right now you have two sides: her/her team vs the bad guys. 

Her choices are limited, reunite with her ex and attempt a fight they cannot win, or walk away alive and know their world could be plunged into the darkness of  war.

When it's put all together you get (trimmed to get close to 70 words!):

A year ago nineteen-year-old Krystin almost got her ex-boyfriend, Shawn, and her teammates killed. Now she discovers an evil darker than the demons they pursue making its insidious way into the city, a sign the prophecy joining her and Shawn is true. Her choices are limited, reunite with her ex and a face an enemy she cannot kill, or walk away alive and know war will overtake their world.

Actually, while that cleans up what you had I think it needs more oomph. Not sure you're showing enough of the rise of the conflict within your story. I'll be curious what others have to say.

Of course, it's just ONE opinion. Let's see what others have to say. :-)

Oh, and if this is YOUR pitch and you want to revise and have me post it, just drop me a line (my email is my blog title - elliewrites2 - in front of a gmail.com ending) and I'll add it up to the top.

Don't forget to visit the other blogs and leave a critique to be entered for a chance to win one of several start-of-manuscript or query critique opportunities. 

• Sarah Nicolas
• Peculiar Light
• Stephanie Diaz 
• Marieke Nijkamp
• Zap's Lobster Tank
• Leigh Ann Kopans
• Gina's Writer's Blog
• Finding Joy in the Journey
• Jamie Grey
• Maggie Hall
• Howdy Girl 
• The Sleepless Writers
• The Write Words
• Of Cabbages and Kings
• Stacey Nash
• Kaitlin Adams
• Ink in the book
• Larissa's World
• 2000 Words
• Ink in the Book
• StaceyO'Neale
• C Sully Write, C Sully Run
• A Novel Journey
• Pen to Paper 
• Whimsical Quests of a Curious Mind

Staring with Amber (PitchOn Pre-Event Pitch Workshop)

As part of the build-up to PitchOn people were offered the chance to send in their 50-70 word pitches to get feedback PRIOR to entering them in the contest. YOU CAN STILL ENTER TO HAVE YOUR PITCH WORKSHOPPED. Here's the post with the deets.

Remember this is a blog hop - be sure to go visit the other host blogs and comment/help other entrants hone their pitches. AND for each critique you leave in the comments of the blogs, you get an entry into the drawing to win one of eight 10-page critiques from one of the following: Sharon Johnston, Larissa Hardesty, Stephanie Diaz, Catherine Scully, Jodie Andrefski, Paula Sangare, Talynn and Kaitlin Adams. Please use the exact same name for all of your critiques. Also, Sarah Nicolas will be giving away three query critiques! The opportunity ends 10/14/2012.

UPDATED PITCH 10/1: 

Title: Starting With Amber <--- note change
Genre: Contemporary YA
Word-count: 50,000

Teenage Seth and his family are thrown into a media feeding frenzy when his child-star sister is abducted from their grandios family home. As the investigation deepens and the time for finding his sister runs out, Seth must decide if being the only person who knows where she is and why is worth the price of the family secrets.

So here is the ORIGINAL PITCH of Staring with Amber:
Title: Staring With Amber
Genre: Contemporary YA
Word-count: 50,000
Pitch: A brutal abduction of a child star. A media feeding frenzy. Everyone is asking where Annalise is, but there seem to be a whole lot of other answers coming up instead, because everyone in town has a secret, and they're all connected to each other, one way or another. Only teenager brother Seth knows where his sister really is and why.    

~~~
Before I suggest anything I just had a couple of general comments. 

One, I'm not sure about the title. How does one use amber to stare? Plus there's no reference to Amber at all in the pitch. Was there, perhaps, a typo? Is the title supposed to be Starring with Amber, which make a little more sense as you do have a child 'star', although I'm not quite sure who Amber is. I think having some link to the title in the pitch is helpful.

Length is a bit on the short side but not unreasonably short. (The Swivet has a great post on *her* take on genres and novel lengths which I've found really helpful. Yes, it's just one agent's 'take' but still useful, IMO.)

Okay, onto the meat. 

This seems to be a pitch about someone who is abducted, the underbelly of the town (she was abducted in? she grew up in?) and, oh, she has a brother who knows where she is and why.

Line by line break down:

A brutal abduction of a child star. 
Is this person the main character? If so you might want to say 'teenage star'. If not then you may need to rewrite this. Right now, given she's the first person I'm introduced to AND she's the focus of these first couple of sentences, I'm thinking Annalise is the main character.

A media feeding frenzy.
I'm not sure you need this here. You may be better served to put it later and tie it into the 'answers coming up'.

Everyone <-- This is too vague, you need a specific person/entity. For instance you could merge this with the previous sentence and say 'The Media is asking...'.

is asking where Annalise is, but there seem to be a whole lot of other answers coming up instead, because everyone in town has a secret, and they're all connected to each other, one way or another. 
You need to break this sentence down into smaller, clearer bits:
is asking where Annalise is, 

but there seem to be a whole lot of other answers coming up instead, 
I found this awkwardly phrased. And, to be honest, I'm not sure what this has to do with your main character, Annalise. I think you need to keep your focus on her, not what is going on around her, unless there is a direct tie? 

because everyone in town has a secret,
Connect this in someway to the story--> say Seth is keeping a secret, his sister's whereabout or some to tie this to the main character. Right now the focus is on the town and the people, and not the journey of your protagonist. 


and they're all connected to each other, one way or another. 
I love this idea, but you should tighten it, make it more impact by making it visual --> and they're all connected like threads in a spider's web OR, again, making it relevant to the protagonist --> And Annalise's secret is the one they can't afford to have uncovered.


Only teenager brother Seth knows where his sister really is and why.
I think you need a stronger ending here, leave us with what BAD thing would happen if the secret comes out and wondering what the lengths are people are willing to go through to keep it hidden perhaps. Or tell us more about why Seth is keeping this secret and his stake in the outcome of either her remaining hidden or being found.

Going on what you have (and not having a clue on the rest of the book -- I apologize in advance if this is way off!) here's a possible rewrite: 

When teen star Annalise is kidnapped only her brother Seth knows the truth of where she is and why. As the media frenzy builds and journalists uncover secrets their town wants hidden, they must decide if Annalise's secret is theirs to tell. Or if keeping the truth hidden is worth the price their friends and family are paying.

Still not sure that shows enough of her journey, but it's a jumping off point if you want to use it. Again, I don't know the story so this could be terribly off!

Now, that's just ONE opinion. Let's see what others have to say. :-)

Oh, and if this is YOUR pitch and you want to revise and have me post it, just drop me a line (my email is my blog title - elliewrites2 - in front of a gmail.com ending) and I'll add it up to the top.

Don't forget to visit the other blogs and leave a critique to be entered for a chance to win one of several start-of-manuscript or query critique opportunities. 

• Sarah Nicolas
• Peculiar Light
• Stephanie Diaz 
• Marieke Nijkamp
• Zap's Lobster Tank
• Leigh Ann Kopans
• Gina's Writer's Blog
• Finding Joy in the Journey
• Jamie Grey
• Maggie Hall
• Howdy Girl 
• The Sleepless Writers
• The Write Words
• Of Cabbages and Kings
• Stacey Nash
• Kaitlin Adams
• Ink in the book
• Larissa's World
• 2000 Words
• Ink in the Book
• StaceyO'Neale
• C Sully Write, C Sully Run
• A Novel Journey
• Pen to Paper 
• Whimsical Quests of a Curious Mind